Dear Happy Socks, work with me, okay?

Dear Happy Socks,

I know the New York Times wants you to think that Silicon Valley is responsible for using socks to convey class, and that’s probably true. They even want you to think there is some sort of code—but less sexy than the bandana code. Well, the New York Times can stuff it. Even if this is actually some widespread Silicon douchebag phenomenon, it isn’t making wearing colourful socks accessible—who the heck wants to be known as the guy who cuffs his pant leg during meetings because he’s sending the message that it is “business time.” Silicon Valley assholes. And that’s it.

This letter is less about deconstructing the piece from the New York Times and more about me wanting to collaborate with you. I am asking you, on the Internet, to collaborate with me on a new sock design. I consume so many pairs of socks, and I continue to buy more, so I think it is time that I make my own. That seems like the only realistic next step.

I have never designed an article of clothing before, but I know enough about the design of a sock to be an asset to the process. I do not shy away from colour or patterns, I’m really easy to work with (if you’ve worked with me, now would be the time to speak up) and I pick up new skills very quickly. I will also wear them all of the time, which is the equivalent of Mary Kate Olsen carrying a Venti Starbucks latte everywhere she goes. And I know a lot of strapping young gentlemen who could do the same.

Below is a slideshow that shows examples of my work. I hope to hear from you. If I could design socks all year, that would be cool too.

Sincerely,
Kevin J Naulls, sock enthusiast

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Dear Happy Socks, work with me, okay?

  1. mikemac

    oh fuck-you “don’t shy away from colour or pattern”? is that why you’re such a bland dresser? socks don’t make the person, honey.

  2. naulls

    Totes, hun! Socks don’t make the person! Perfect observation. Such scholarly writing should not be kept anonymous. My name is Kevin Naulls. You know though, from my bland style.

  3. busted

    Your take on wool socks? 100% wool socks

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