My Daughter Deborah Is A Fucking Bitch

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Deborah just called me a bitch.

That little bitch has got some nerve. I took away her hand-me-down iPhone 3G, and she won’t be able to access her Tinder likes for three days. 

She’ll think twice the next time she forgets that I am her MOM.

Ever been in a power struggle with your own kids, moms? 

I need tips!

xoxo

Rachel

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What is a gay witch? A brief intro to International Gay Witch Day

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A gay witch named Storm Faerywolf writes in 2000, “In most Wiccan traditions of modern witchcraft there is a strong emphasis on sexual polarity as a model for magickal/ritual working. Simply stated, this is the belief that magickal energy is generated most strongly (and perhaps only) by a male and female working partnership, a concept that was popularized by the Gardnerian tradition and has been passed down in some form to the vast majority of modern witchcraft traditions being practiced today. Even in traditions where this polarity is seen to be internalized (i.e. the idea that we each contain an inner male and female which strive for balance regardless of our physical gender) we find that, ultimately, the model we have adopted is still a heterosexist one: that of polarized or complimentary forces being identified as male and female, thereby enshrining this model as the template for all real relationships whether they be romantic, magickal, or otherwise. For Queers this can be a dangerous practice.”

It can be dangerous. It is merely another instance where queers are subjugated. I will be completely honest. I found out gay witch was a thing on a lark, but quickly felt like it was something I wanted to pursue. The otherness of gay witchcraft appeals to me, and its lack of concrete definition makes it equally desirable. I am very much a beginner, and learning about this as I go along. If you are a seasoned gay witch, I would love to hear from you! E-mail me!

Gay witchcraft appears to be full of good intentions. There appears to be less focus on emulating The Craft and more on pursuing worthwhile causes. Take gay witch Christopher Penczak, who put out a call in 2004 to produce spells for gay rights: “I propose that all magickally-minded people – Pagans, Witches, Wiccans, magicians, healers, shamans, yogis, seers, seekers on all paths who believe in equal rights for all – come together on the first Full Moon after the 35th Anniversary of the Stonewall Riots that occurred June 27, 1969. Stonewall is considered by many to be the birth of the GLBT rights movement. On the first Full Moon after this historic anniversary, we can raise energy to make a definitive change for the better, where all people’s rights are respected. I suggest a spell with this or a similar intention:

We ask in the name of the Goddess, God and Great Spirit to be immediately granted equal rights for same sex couples throughout the U.S.A., so that all couples may enjoy the rights of marriage if they so choose. We ask this be correct, and for the good of all involved, harming none. So mote it be.”

I do not want to overshadow the Stonewall Riots, which is why I have chosen the first International Gay Witch Day to fall on June 28, 2013. So don your gayest gay witch apparel (how you define gay witch garb is up to you, but I will be wearing a gay witch t-shirt and carrying a sign to commemorate the day, and likely also dying a grey streak in my hair to symbolize being touched by the gay witch gods, and perhaps conducting my first gay séance (let’s talk to Harvey Milk!)), and take to the streets with some gay witch enthusiasm.

Goddess bless,

Kevin “Gay Witch” Naulls

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7 amazing shots of important bearded models you need to know

Ricki Hall

Ricki Hall

Meet Phillipe Malouin, Ricki Hall, Ilias Petrakis and Christoper Camplin. These are the bearded models who capture my attention every time I see them pop up on Instagram, Tumblr, on the runway and in major campaigns. So, you’re welcome, alright? You might recognize Camplin the most from his appearance walking for Walter Van Beirendonck. Slideshow and full gallery of images below.

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Dear Happy Socks, work with me, okay?

Dear Happy Socks,

I know the New York Times wants you to think that Silicon Valley is responsible for using socks to convey class, and that’s probably true. They even want you to think there is some sort of code—but less sexy than the bandana code. Well, the New York Times can stuff it. Even if this is actually some widespread Silicon douchebag phenomenon, it isn’t making wearing colourful socks accessible—who the heck wants to be known as the guy who cuffs his pant leg during meetings because he’s sending the message that it is “business time.” Silicon Valley assholes. And that’s it.

This letter is less about deconstructing the piece from the New York Times and more about me wanting to collaborate with you. I am asking you, on the Internet, to collaborate with me on a new sock design. I consume so many pairs of socks, and I continue to buy more, so I think it is time that I make my own. That seems like the only realistic next step.

I have never designed an article of clothing before, but I know enough about the design of a sock to be an asset to the process. I do not shy away from colour or patterns, I’m really easy to work with (if you’ve worked with me, now would be the time to speak up) and I pick up new skills very quickly. I will also wear them all of the time, which is the equivalent of Mary Kate Olsen carrying a Venti Starbucks latte everywhere she goes. And I know a lot of strapping young gentlemen who could do the same.

Below is a slideshow that shows examples of my work. I hope to hear from you. If I could design socks all year, that would be cool too.

Sincerely,
Kevin J Naulls, sock enthusiast

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Canterbury of New Zealand spring/summer 2012

I typically can’t stand clothing with the brand’s insignia embroidered on it, but there are a number of reasons why I find this particular collection awesome: the models are fetching; forest green and mustard yellow is my favourite combination—and I’ve been looking for a varsity jacket with this colour combination; and I really like the colour-blocked windbreaker. That’s it, that’s all. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. If you don’t, there’s something wrong with you.

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A talky talk on self-expression with help from Uniforms for the Dedicated’s Fall/Winter 2011-12 collection

Here’s a shocker, and I’d like you to sit down for a second, because this is going to be a revelation: I’m a man who likes beards. I love ’em scraggly and unkempt—the kind that people claim are hard to kiss (grow up, bitches). When they’re too manicured, I’m more likely to say things like “stop it,” and “why’d you go and ruin it,” but of course it shouldn’t get too dirty and the polite thing to do is comb the crumbs out and not make bad jokes like “I’m saving them for later.” I like beards, because they make people ask questions, or react: “Why doesn’t he just shave?” “Is he fat under there?” and “That would be too scratchy on my lady parts. No dice.” I feel similarly about the clothes from Uniforms for the Dedicated’s fall/winter 2011-12 collection. There’s nothing effortless about them. The guys who wear these clothes want you to think they’re very casual, but they’re not. And I like that. I like men who spend some time putting together a uniform. UFTD’s uniform focuses on relaxed fits, and the message, I can only assume (because I did not make these clothes or art direct the shoot), is some sort of narrative of a grad student.

 

He’s contemporary (I mean, check out those glasses), attends fashion weeks (with his friends who are buyers, naturally), takes drugs recreationally, is bisexual (and yet, is a wiz in the kitchen when he makes meals for his live-in girlfriend) and is a bit of a shoe collector. Even his lapels don’t conform to the traditions of starching or ironing—he wears them wildly, because his intellectual pursuits are much more important. He is finishing up his MFA.

He’s a part-time art critic, makes collages, imbibes with Michael Musto and currently has no STIs. Uniforms for the Dedicated’s fall/winter 2011-12 collection is satisfying in the sense that their clothes help construct these mini narratives. Just by looking at their fit and the materials used, I created a life for this model, whose only job is to sell the clothes. And he has. He may actually be in a Christian rock band, be a father to 9 children (and counting), or he might be a Glamorama playboy—but it doesn’t matter, because when we create these looks, we are, more or less, asking people to validate us. We’re literally begging for these stories to be created, we’re asking for people to react in some way. I like clothes that are somewhat open to interpretation. It would be too easy to just call this dude a hipster. When people put together an outfit (and really, really try something), the goal is for that something to be acknowledged. My guess is that wearer has his or her own opinions (“I’m just being a Carrie,” “This is art school chic,” or “I don’t care about fashion”),  but if you’re going to try something, create a character, put together a costume, pass or fail, the ownership on how that story is adapted to film is not yours. Self-expression is yours, but how your story is told isn’t. And to me, it’s more fun that way. In 2011, I was an “undateable [WC]” “homeless” man who “looks like he slept in a sewer.” This year? Well, it is too soon to tell, but I’m hoping it is just as good.

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A preamble to the Dressed for Dinner gift guide: Adrian+Shane t-shirt stocking stuffers

Artists Adrian et Shane have decided to hand stencil some t-shirts, and their slogans are awesome. I stopped liking t-shirts with slogans a long time ago, but above are two of the best (in my opinion) from their mini-collection. I like the notion of illustrating what clothing you’d wear should you be in the position to be gangbanged (why not, you deserve it) and I really like the idea of wearing a shirt that says Diet Diet when I am quite clearly on anything but. Buy these for me for Christmas. I wear a large. And buy some for yourself too, because tis the season to be gangbanged and wear ironic t-shirts (since we’re going to be meatpilin’ until January, at the very least). You can buy them here »

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